From the book: Family Focus on Christ

Family Focus on Christ #6

WHAT EVERY PERSON SHOULD KNOW
ABOUT SCRIPTURAL SEX EDUCATION
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The Scriptures clearly teach what every man, woman, and child should know about sex. Satan is so crafty; through the vulgar use of the work sex, he prevents Christian parents from exercising their God-given duty to teach their children what God says about sex. Properly understood, sex is sacred.

In the schools and in society today, so much is said about sex education for children. The Bible has more sex education in it than most people realize, and it is there for the edification of all.

I want to point out something that is vitally important: parents have an absolute duty to teach their children about sex, and to do so requires knowledge, understanding, and a walk of life which reflects Scriptural principles and teaching.

Children and young adults must not be taught that sex is something that is dirty or sinful, but that sex is instituted by the Lord.

Parents must teach their children that sex is sacred and honorable in marriage: therefore, we do not commit adultery; therefore, we do not commit fornication; therefore, our hearts must be clean and free of lust for one who is not our married partner for life.

Why? It is because sex is sacred. It is the image that illustrates the relationship between Christ and His church. God has instituted it and it is honorable, but it is between a man and his wife.

As this subject is unfolded, we will deal with several points:

THE SPIRIT OF THE LAW

The spirit of the law has love as its motive. Loving God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind will result in a holy reverence for His will. That is the first table of the law.

The second table of the law also has love for its motive. All self-centeredness is a transgression of both tables of the law because everything that is self-centered comes against our love for our neighbor.

If we understand the spirit of the law, we lift our neighbor above ourselves.

Limiting the law to its literal meaning nullifies the spirit and intent of the law. This is not permissible for Scripture says, "For when we were in the flesh, the motions of sins, which were by the law, did work in our members to bring forth fruit unto death. But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter," ROM 7:5-6.

Jesus is teaching that the violations of the sixth and seventh commandments as well as the tenth commandment are sins of the heart. The Apostle Paul saw that lusting was a violation of the tenth commandment.

When we have broken one law, we have broken them all. JAM 2:10 tells us, "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all." When we lust, we are coveting; we are committing murder. We must learn to understand that it is murderous to lust after a woman. It is heart murder.

Now the depth of the spirituality of the law comes to the foreground. Our text MAT 5:27-28 teaches, "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

Our Saviour's statement, "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time" refers to the scribes and Pharisees and their traditions. It is not referring to abolishing the law and putting away the Ten Commandments. It is abolishing the traditions of the Pharisees.

The scribes had accurately quoted the seventh commandment, "Thou shalt not commit adultery," but with the same problem as they had with the sixth commandment.

The scribes limited the commandments of God to the actual physical act. It's not that the scribes misquoted the law, but they limited the application literally, to the letter and not the intent of the law.

All the traditions and commandments of men instituted by the scribes and Pharisees came from the blindness of their own heart. Jesus' teaching of the spirit of the law exposes the motives of the heart.

I would like to point out a principle that has been established by the Lord Jesus Christ. Throughout the New Testament when Jesus is speaking to the multitudes He says, "Verily, verily, I say unto you." The Lord Jesus Christ often repeats what He has said because it is a matter of training our thinking.

Something that is said once and then passed over is not training, it's teaching. In training our thinking He says, "Verily, verily, I say unto you." Sometimes it is necessary that something must be told to us, and told to us again and again and again. Sometimes it is necessary that it first be told to us from one direction and then from another direction. This is training our thinking.

The Lord Jesus Christ is pointing out to us that the teaching of the scribes and Pharisees was not the teaching of the Scripture.

Now, in our text, the Lord Jesus is teaching the need of a heart religion and not a Pharisaical religion. He wants a heart-obedience and not just a letter-of-the-law obedience. He wants us to obey the spirit of the law.

The Lord Jesus uses the illustration of our text, as He does in many other verses, to teach us and to train our thinking in understanding this principle.

In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus was teaching the spirit or intent of the law saying in MAT 5:20, "That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven."

This central theme that the Lord Jesus is teaching is found in this verse. The important element is that we must have a righteousness that exceeds the letter of the law. Now, in our text on the seventh commandment, Jesus demonstrates this principle.

The scribes were only concerned with the consequences of sin, not sin itself. They were not motivated by love. They had self as their motive. Their concern was that they be delivered from the consequences of sin and that they inherit eternal life, but they were without love for God.

Therefore, the scribes kept the letter of the law, but they were strangers to the motivation of their own self-centered hearts. They did not understand their corrupt nature, i.e., the fountain of evil, the inclination to evil that is within us all. They did not understand the spiritual application of the law.

Job saw the false security of the wicked. JOB 21:14-15 says, "Therefore they say unto God, Depart from us; for we desire not the knowledge of thy ways. What is the Almighty, that we should serve him? and what profit should we have, if we pray unto him?"

Why do the wicked say these things and think this way? They say it because they feel secure. Everything is prosperous and going well. There are no pangs in their death.

Do you see the selfishness when they ask who is the Almighty that they should serve Him? What profit would they gain for themselves?

The Apostle Paul spoke of this false security in the letter-of-the-law. Where do we get false security? We get it in the letter-of-the-law when we tell ourselves, "I've lived a good life; I've never killed anybody." Everything is I...,I...,I. There is no need for a Saviour.

Do we have the spirit of the law in our heart? Whether pertaining to the keeping of the Sabbath, or any one of His commandments, or any principle taught in Scriptures, how often we settle for a Pharisaical philosophy; we are then content with the letter of the law.

When self becomes the center, we are guilty of breaking God's law of love. Jesus taught the spirituality of the law, which is God-centered. The motivation is for the glory of God; the motivation is love for God!

These principles which the Lord Jesus brings forth make the distinction between the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees and the imparted righteousness of Christ. We must watch for these principles.

A Pharisaical, self-centered righteousness makes one view himself as having done very well in keeping most of the commandments. You and I have a tendency in most of the commandments to look at them in a Pharisaical way without really understanding the spirit of the law.

Seeing the spirituality of the law fosters humility with a heart tender for the will of God. When we start to understand the spirituality of the law, we start by saying with the Apostle Paul in 1TI 1:15, "This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief." When the mirror of self-knowledge came up before his eyes, the Apostle Paul saw the spirituality of the law.

If every thought and intent of our heart was written on our forehead, who would not blush? This is what is going to happen on the Day of Judgment. God will reveal the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Think of how we need to be washed in that fountain that is open for the cleansing of all sin and uncleanness! Think of how our best righteousness, our best prayers, our best thoughts are yet polluted in His sight.

A HEART RELIGION

Jesus taught in MAT 5:21-22 that hatred or even a lack of love in the heart is heart and tongue murder. Our text says that lust in the heart is already the sin of adultery. The spirit of the law uncovers the fountain of sin in the heart and the sinfulness of sin.

When we understand the spirit of the law, we start to see the fountain of sin that is in the heart because our own hearts convict us. Our own heart will witness against us; it will show us how we are guilty of transgression in every commandment.

Our text says in MAT 5:28, "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

Before the letter of the law, lustful thoughts are not the same degree of sin as actually carrying out an act of adultery. To carry out the physical act is a much greater sin. There are degrees of sin.

He is showing us, however, in the eyes of the Lord, these sinful lusts of the heart are violations of the seventh commandment in the spirit of the law. Had I understood this as a young man, it could well have spared me from grievous heart sins for which I today must cry out with David in PSA 25:7, "Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness' sake, O LORD."

In MAT 15:18-20 we read, "But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man."

The Lord Jesus was reproving the scribes and Pharisees for their tradition that you couldn't eat with unwashed hands, but Jesus pointed them to the intent of the heart!

The unrighteous motivations in the heart are what defile a man, not unwashed hands. The heart sins were not even noticed by the scribes and Pharisees who taught only the letter of the law.

Lustful desires, thoughts, and imaginations are often restrained and do not come out in actions, but they reveal the corruption of the fountain of sin in the heart. The Lord's purpose in teaching self-knowledge of our heart is so we see how the fountain is corrupt and how we stand before Him.

If the Lord has removed the hedge from another and allowed him to stumble, we have no stones to throw at him because we can look into our own heart and see the same seeds of corruption in there. "...He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her," JOH 8:7b. If the Lord had removed that hedge around us, we too would have fallen.

LOVE vs. LUST

The Apostle Paul spoke of how he learned the spirituality of the tenth commandment in ROM 7:7, "What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet."

We are talking about lusting after a woman in our text. Lust is one of the most grievous sins. When we look upon a woman with lust, we are coveting lustfully. This is a horrible sin.

Jesus did not say, "Whosoever looketh upon a woman commits adultery", "But...That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

We can see a beautiful woman and hold her in high respect for the beauty God has given her without lusting for her. The sin is not when we look at a woman but when we lust after a woman.

Jesus is not saying we must live in a monastery where we will never see a woman; it is lusting after her that is sin. Some overreact and say that a woman must not be observed.

In some countries even today, a woman is scarcely allowed to appear in public. They feel that looking at a woman makes a man sin. Some think a woman has to be so covered that you cannot see anything but her face and hands.

This is not what the Lord was telling us. The Lord is telling us that we may not lust after her sexually. Lusting after a woman as a sex object is selfish.

A woman does not have to be isolated to such an extent that a man is not allowed to see her. The sin is a matter of the intent of the heart, a violation of the spirit of the law.

The motivation of lust is sinful; it is base or morally low and disgraceful. When we lust, our heart is corrupt.

When I speak of a woman in this teaching, I am not speaking of the male or female sex isolated. This pertains to both women and men. A woman may not lust after a man any more than a man may after a woman. It is a sin of both sexes because women can also have corrupt minds whereby they can have a wrong intent. A person of either sex can also lust after another of the same sex.

When the fashion was to wear very short skirts, I heard little girls talking about how they looked with lust at the curves of another girl's legs as she walked to the front of a church. They talked about how pretty and desirable she was.

Do you know what they were doing? They were lusting in a lesbian way. They were causing sin in the house of God.

This is not only the sin of a man; we have to see that this sin is base, morally low, and disgraceful. Such thoughts and imaginations are to use, to misuse, by possessing another person out of selfishness. The motivation of lust is a horrible, degenerating thing. Yet, what do we see in the world today?

I have an illustration that I want you to have in your mind as we follow through this teaching. I want you to see how the man and his wife are a symbol of Christ and His bride.

Satan wants to pollute this marriage union of the church, of Christ and His bride. Satan has a counterfeit for everything that is holy. So what Satan does in today's society is pervert the word love with lust.

As a result, what do we see? We see how Satan degenerates the human body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit, with the pretense of calling it love.

The love union between a man and his wife is the symbol of the love between Christ and His church. Satan wants to pervert and degenerate this by making it base and morally low; he wants to destroy it with lust. I want you to think about this as we go through this teaching.

We read in GEN 5:1-2, "In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; Male and female created he them; and blessed them."

I want you to understand that sex in a marriage relationship is a sacred thing; it is not dirty; it is not sinful. It was God ordained. Sexual intercourse in marriage is the most intimate act of love, and it is a precious gift of God.

In HEB 13:4 we read, "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremonger and adulterers God will judge." Why will God judge whoremongers and adulterers? He judges them because they are perverting the sacred element of love that God has given us in marriage.

The marriage union between a man and his wife is the most intimate expression of love; it is used to illustrate the love between Christ and His church. EPH 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it."

Spiritual unfaithfulness is compared to that of an unfaithful woman. In JER 3:1-14, "They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD."

When we allow spiritual adultery in our lives, the Lord likens it to that of an unfaithful woman who has left her husband and is playing the harlot. We must see that the relationship between husband and wife illustrates the relationship between Christ and His church. We must see that it is sacred! It is not something to be polluted with base, lustful thoughts.

JER 3:14 says, "Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you." What is the Lord saying? He is saying you have played the harlot with many lovers, in other words, in a spiritual way you have committed adultery. Yet, the Lord is so gracious; He is so forgiving that He is willing to take back a backsliding sinner.

Lusting after a woman is an illustration of spiritual adultery of the heart. It is lusting after things that put Christ in second place.

So much is said today about the need for sex education for children. This is so very true, and parents have a duty to convey to their children the sacredness and honor of sex in marriage.

Any careful study of the Bible, shows there is much sexual training to be learned and received in the Scriptures. It is tremendous. The Apostle Paul warned against allowing Satan to tempt for lack of self-restraint with regard to sexual activity.

In MAT 19:4-6 we read, "And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? [This is teaching the oneness obtained through sexual relationship between man and wife.] Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

In 1CO 7:1-3 we read, "Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication [i.e., if a man cannot contain himself], let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband."

This means that a husband may not neglect his wife sexually. If she has sexual desires that he is not taking care of, he is not rendering unto her due benevolence, likewise the wife unto the husband. We may not allow each other to burn sexually in marriage!

Verse 9 says, "...if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn." If either the man or the woman are burning in marriage, it is because their partner is not rendering due benevolence.

1CO 7:4-5 says, "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other [i.e., don't neglect one another sexually.], except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency."

Incontinency means, "Without self-restraint, especially in regard to sexual activity." We have not self-restraint. The woman has power over the body of the man, and the man has power over the body of the woman, but we have no self-restraint.

You may not neglect your partner's sexual needs because you lack self-restraint. When you stop and think about this, it is powerful. The man has a duty to his wife. He must not allow her to be tempted by Satan to commit adultery by his lack of benevolence.

Lust is Satan's counterfeit for love. We read in the newspapers, almost daily, about how a woman had been abducted. She has been sexually molested and murdered. Can you picture this? Satan still calls it love! The woman has been abducted and murdered and still Satan says he made love! The most base, degenerate thought that ever entered a human mind Satan calls love!

Lust is heart murder. It is selfish, self-centered, a purely selfish desire, a covetous desire. This lust that Satan calls love is one of the most abominable things on the face of the earth.

Look at the sex perversion that lust has caused in our society. We read in the newspaper of a man who calls another man his lover. He sues and gets twenty-one million dollar reward because his lover never told him he has AIDS. Is this love? No! It is lust. Love is pure; it is undefiled. Lust is Satan's counterfeit for love.

Satan uses pornography to promote strong sexual desires, to promote lust, to promote sin and murder by polluting the heart and mind. He even uses child pornography, which is a most brutal murdering of children, and he calls it making love.

How base and degenerate the human mind can be? Satan knows that a relationship of love between a man and his wife is a type of the love between Christ and His church. Satan wants to demoralize, debase, and make this love so deplorable.

1JO 2:16 tells us, "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world."

Lust is Satan's stronghold. 1TH 4:4-5 says, "That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, [which means `A strong lustful desire or appetite; especially for sex'], even as the Gentiles which know not God."

What is the world filled with today? All the pornography, movies, television shows are building the lust of concupiscence. They are being used to build a burning desire of sexual lust. Why? Satan knows this is the road to hell.

The apostle says, however, "that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour: Not in the lust of concupiscence even as the Gentiles which know not God." There has not been a time since the beginning of the world that that text is more revealing than it is in today's society.

Burning in their lust is a judgment from God. This is the judgment God sends for perverting and walking away from the authority of His Word. This is a judgment that God sends that ends in death.

We read about it in ROM 1:26-27, "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: [i.e., He gave them up unto their sexual lusts! To burn in themselves, one toward another.] for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet."

What was that recompense of their error? It was death; AIDS is included in this recompense. Isn't it something how Satan uses the counterfeit of the very symbol that God uses to demonstrate Christ's relationship with His church, and perverts it. Satan makes it base and degenerate and uses it for destruction to drag man into hell.

Lust is a damning sin from which God will deliver His people. If we are one of God's people, He will deliver us from this sin. If you are living in lust, do not claim salvation; if you have been saved from sin, the Lord has delivered you from lust.

In 2PE 2:9-10 we read, "The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished: But chiefly them that walk after the flesh in the lust of uncleanness, and despise government. Presumptuous are they, self-willed, they are not afraid to speak evil of dignities."

The spirit of the law is to be God-centered. Those who are degenerate are self-willed. This is something that isn't spoken of enough. We must identify that Satan is using burning lust to drag men and women to hell, and it begins long before a person is old enough to marry.

What is the judgment God sends upon the degenerate? "...and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet." What was the sin for which God left them over to this judgment? It was worshipping the creature more than the Creator and warping the Word of God into a lie.

When the Word of God is not the highest authority of our life, read what happens in ROM 1:25, "Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause [We don't want to overlook this; it was for this sin that] God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature."

Now what do we see in today's society? We see lesbianism and homosexuality as accepted ways of life. It is treated as honorable; you can go to the courts and get a reward because of a homosexual lover who didn't tell his whole story. They don't realize that AIDS was sent as a judgment from the Lord, and they both deserve to die.

Love, how perverted that word love is in today's society. I believe it is so important that we, as parents, understand and teach our children the sacredness of sex.

I believe, it is a duty for parents to teach their children that sex is sacred, that it is instituted by the Lord, and in marriage it is honorable. Children must be taught the principle of restraint.

Outside of marriage, sex becomes lust, which is a damning sin. This has to be the basis for restraint, not the idea that we should refrain because we might get AIDS or other diseases. That would be legalism.

We must restrain ourselves because it is a damning sin to do otherwise. We must refrain because it is against the principle of love. The Lord institutes the principle of love, and it is sacred and honorable.

THE MARRIAGE UNION

The Apostle Paul warned against defiling this sacred union that has been instituted by the Lord in 1CO 6:15-16, "Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh."

When we become joined to a harlot, we become one flesh with a harlot. It says we are members of Christ; therefore, we may not be the members of a harlot. Do you see the symbolism? Do you see that the marriage union we have with Christ means we become one with Christ?

The sexual relationship is the symbol of the oneness we have with Christ. If a man and his wife have a perfect harmony in marriage, we understand that in their oneness, they have become one flesh. This is the oneness between Christ and the sinner when the sinner is brought into Christ.

Defiling the bed through whoredom is defiling the temple of the Holy Ghost. 1CO 6:18-19 says, "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?"

Aren't we defiling the temple of the Holy Spirit when we lust?

Aren't we committing or causing our partner to commit the sin against their own body when we do not render them due benevolence?

Some people do not realize the seriousness of this. I think it is something that has to be discussed, not only between a man and his wife, but also with the children.

Verse 20 says, "For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's." How do we glorify God in our body and in our spirit? We glorify Him by being bound with one woman, or one man, and by having our hearts clean--not lusting after another woman or man.

Amen.

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